D and S and Me: Cross+Training Day 12... Why?

Taking a small child to church with two adults. A challenge. Taking two children to church solo. More of a challenge. Taking two children to church SOLO after a long day and the day after a crazy birthday party and the hour before the youngest's bedtime. Close to insanity. Some days, I wonder why. Why go when the sermons are online later and I could just listen then? Why go when I know I will hear all of three words of that sermon if I'm in church with two kids? Why go when I have to take one kid up to share the reading only to come back and see the other kid put highlighter on his face? Why go when the only thing he cares about it a snack after church? Why go when I feel humiliated because they just aren't able to sit still tonight? Why? Why? Why?

Maybe, someday it will make sense. Maybe, someday it will be worth it. Maybe, someday when one of these two kids is going through a really rough time they will remember that when their mom was going through a really rough time being in a church community helped. Helped her to stay calm. Helped her to see the big picture. Helped her to remember how great the kids really are and that although the running and ripping of paper and incessant touching of each other, they are just as much blessed and loved children of God as those that can sit when asked and stand when asked.

Or, maybe the why is the is more about the mom who came up and watch S even when she was screaming because I had to take D out to the car alone first. I am so grateful for Petra. Or, maybe the why is that church reminded me to pray and that by not saying anything to the whining from the backseat I found my five minutes of prayer today and got D to finally be quiet and think too. Or, maybe the why is because for six years I said over and over to parents, it was okay and that kids should always be welcomed in church and I believed it for them, so maybe I should believe it for me too. Grateful for all the colleagues in youth and family ministry that taught me that. Or, maybe the why is that we have been blessed with people passionate about worship, but also people passionate about creating spaces for worship and those spaces are filled with beauty. Grateful for the architects and designers and artists.

Today really was a beautiful day. We enjoyed a pancake breakfast at my sister's work - a nature park about an hour away. After breakfast we learned about how maple syrup is made, walked in the woods (exercise!), had maple sap tea, met Alice in Dairyland and had some play time at Grammie Pearl's house. It was chilly today, but the week is getting warmer and the sun will hopefully keep shining and maybe, next Sunday quite as hard as tonight...